Cherry Vanilla Lip Gloss!
by Madgirl Insane
Summary: Very odd. Please read it if you like insanity. (And who doesn't? Everyone does.) I'm quite proud of it, which I suppose should tell you a lot about me.


  
A/N Alright, basically I woke up this morning and said "I'm gonna write a really bad cliche today." So, here goes. Flames will be rewarded with a reply back that says "You know what, you're absolutley right!" So it would be pretty pointless to flame, but you're welcome to do it if you really want to.  
  
*Madgirl Insane is sitting at her computer, reading fics even though technically she's not supposed to be on the internet when her mom is at the YMCA, or at Yoga, or whatever she is doing that allows Madgirl to go on the internet and read insanity fics and go on IM and annoy all her friends like Katie and Dom and Leah and Danielle and Lindsay, and Graham, cuz he's in love with Katie, which Madgirl finds suffeciantly hilarious, and also she is blasting her Josie and the Pussycats movie soundtrack, which she knows is just about the saddest CD ever, and Rachel Leigh Cook and Tara Reid and Rosario Dawson are not even singing or playing the instruments, and she knows this, but she likes it anyway and she has it up to full volume and is screaming, "SHAPESHIFTER! GUEST LISTER! BIG FAKER, SHE'LL TURN AROUND, YOU'LL DIS HER!!!!!!!!!" when all of the sudden she hears a faint *poof* *  
  
something: *poof*  
  
*Madgirl turns around*  
  
*Madgirl sees Harry Potter, Hermione Granger, Ron Weasley, and Draco Malfoy standing on the other side of the guest room, which is where the computer is, because her cheap-o parents won't buy her a laptop*  
  
Madgirl Insane: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Draco: *looking bored* Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's us. Harry, Ron, Hermione, Draco. Everyone's favorite characters. Have your little spaz. We can wait.  
  
Madgirl: *Very offendedish* Draco! Is that anyway to treat the woman you're going to marry?  
  
Draco: Marry YOU? Surely you jest. Your ears are pointy, you have a mole above your upper lip, and your hair downright scary. I think not.  
  
Madgirl: Oh, it's okay, Draco. I know you're just reacting the only you can figure out. You're just misunderstood and not use to love. Don't worry.  
  
Draco: Take that back. *Narrows eyes*  
  
Madgirl: No. *Narrows eyes*  
  
Draco: Yes.  
  
Madgirl: Make me.   
  
Draco: I will. I could take you.   
  
Madgirl: Fine. Right here, right now. Come on. Unless you're CHICKEN.  
  
Draco: *Raises fists* That's it.....  
  
Harry: DRACO! That's NOT why we're here. Stop it! Leave her alone about her ears, too.  
  
Madgirl: *smiles, pretending she doesn't hate Harry in the books, and only buys them to read about Draco, Voldemort, Neville, and Ginny. Oooh, and Fred, Fred is hot.*  
  
Hermione: *looking impatient* Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight. Can we move on please? We have work to do.  
  
Draco: Yeah, Madgirl. We're here to make you STOP writing fanfictions.  
  
Ron: They're horrible.  
  
Madgirl: *rolls eyes* DUH. That's why I write 'em!  
  
Hermione: You wrote a fic about me worshipping Satan!  
  
Madgirl: What, ya mean you don't?  
  
Draco: And about me and the Mudblood!  
  
Madgirl: So? You didn't stay together!  
  
Draco: Because you hate happy endings. It had nothing to do with me.  
  
Madgirl: Yeah well.  
  
Ron: You paired me up with GINNY!  
  
Madgirl: It was CUTE.  
  
Ron: No. It. Wasn't!  
  
Harry: You wrote a romance fic about Angelina Johnson and Professor LUPIN!  
  
Madgirl: Hey, how do you know about that? I never even posted it!  
  
All HP characters: Oh, we know. We ALWAYS know.  
  
Madgirl: *sarcastic* I'm not scared. No not at all.  
  
Draco: Techincally, you should be scared.  
  
Hermione: After all, we're book characters.  
  
Ron: In your bedroom.  
  
Madgirl: Actually, this is the guest room. You like?  
  
Harry: What's up with all the pixies?  
  
Madgirl: I dunno. My mom has a pixie obsession. There's four in here, four in the kitchen, two in the pantry, and even one in the car, except it's a snow globe. *Hit with sudden thought* Hey! You guys don't have computers. How do you even know what fics are, or that I write them?  
  
Hermione: *snorts* Silly girl.  
  
Madgirl: What? I don't get it.  
  
Harry: Don't you understand? We ARE fanfiction.net. All of us. Everyone that there has ever been a story written about. We OWN fanfiction.net. We're in charge of it. We started it to find out what people thought of us. You know bot? Who delivers the reviews? That's really Rodger, from Survivor 2. It used to be Nick from the BSB, he was xing, but he got fired cuz he kept singing those ANNOYING songs.  
  
Draco: Meimi? In charge of categories? Really Mimi, from Digimon.  
  
Ron: But us-- Me, Herm, Harry, and Draco because Dumbledore MADE us.... we're in charge of bad HP fic writers. And YOU are practicaally worst HP fic writer of the year.  
  
Madgirl: No way. Everybody loves my fics! They're so awesomely annoying!  
  
Hermione: Whatever. You have to stop writing.  
  
Ron: Delete all your fics. Now.  
  
Madgirl: NO!  
  
Draco: Yes.  
  
Madgirl: Okay, if....... you let me have a party with all my friends, and you guys go.  
  
Harry: And you'll really delete them, and never post anything again?  
  
Madgirl: Sure.  
  
Ron: Alright, it's a deal.   
  
Madgirl: Oh, right, and Draco has to kiss me in front of all my friends at the party.  
  
Draco: *yelps* No way!  
  
Harry: Okay.  
  
*Madgirl Insane and Harry Potter shake hands*  
  
Madgirl: *goes over to the computer and swiftly deletes all her fics* Kay. The party's in two weeks. August 5. See ya then! And if you don't comply to all rules, BTW, my fics are getting reposted.  
  
Draco: *sighs*  
  
Harry: Deal.  
  
Madgirl: Alright, see ya!  
  
*HP characters vanish. Madgirl calls Katie and Dom to tell them about the party, and they all go to the mall to buy clothes.*  
  
********************August 5... the party....*********************  
  
*Madgirl is in her room, getting dressed in her superbly kewl blue tank top and long green and blue skirt. She is wearing her hair in a half-pony, because Katie made her. Katie is quite obsessed with Madgirl's hair, which is very sad.*  
  
Harry, Hermione, Draco, and Ron: *poof* *appear*  
  
Madgirl: *grins wickedly* Heya! You're here! And, um, cool dress robes! *grins even more wickedly* Hey, Draco, guess what?  
  
Draco: *looking in-between bored and pained* What?  
  
Madgirl: I'm going to be wearing my cherry vanilla lip gloss. I was already wearing it, but, um, I ate it. *grins like an evil scientist* Just thought you should know.  
  
Draco: *looking really, um, thrilled* Greeeeeaaaaat.  
  
Ron: *looking around* So this is, like, your bedroom?   
  
Madgirl: Yup.   
  
Hermione: *who has been exaimining Madgirl's completely packed bookcase* Um, why do you have a pot that says "Draco Malfoy" all over it?  
  
Madgirl: Oh, do you like that? Made it at a paint-your-own-pottery thing. That's nothing! I have a huge "Draco Malfoy" pasta plate downstairs I made too. Remind me to show you!  
  
Harry: Hey, look Herm, it's you! *holds up a Hermione the Bookworm WB figurine*  
  
Madgirl: Oh, yeah. My uncle gave me that. And I have a Hogwarts pillow. Isn't that cool? And an HP calendar, and the Potions poster!  
  
Draco: *sarcastic* Oh no, you're not obsessed, no not at ALL.  
  
Madgirl: Of course not.  
  
**************************the party****************************  
  
Madgirl: OMG Dom! It's What Woulds You Do!  
  
*Madgirl and Dom begin singing their chipmunk version of "What Would You Do" by City High*  
  
Madgirl and Dom: *in very high-pitched voices* What would you do if your son was at home Crying all alone on the bedroom floor Cause he's hungry And the only way to feed him is to Sleep with a man for a little bit of money And his daddy's gone Somewhere smoking rock now In and out of lock down I ain't got a job now So for you this is just a good time But for me this is what I call life, mmm!!!!!!!  
  
Katie: *begging* No! Please stop singing!  
  
Madgirl and Dom: *grin wickedly*  
  
Madgirl: I gotta go. BRB.  
  
Dom: Kay! *starts singing again*  
  
*Madgirl goes upstairs to her bedroom, where Ron, Harry, Hermione, and Draco are examining her stuff*  
  
Madgirl: Kay guys, you can come dpwn now.  
  
Draco: *grumbles*  
  
Hermione: *grumbles*  
  
Harry: *grumbles*  
  
Ron: *grumbles*  
  
Madgirl: I'm hurt. Wounded. Really. I mean that.  
  
Hermione: Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight.  
  
Madgirl: Yes! Thank you! Someone finally said that correctly! It's "riiiiiiiiiiight"! Not "righhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhht"! Thank you!  
  
Ron: Okaaaaaaaaaaaay.........  
  
Madgirl: Alright, now I'm sick of your sarcasm. Stop it.  
  
Harry: Whatever.  
  
Madgirl: Come ON! It's a party! Be happy!  
  
All HP characters: Kay.  
  
Voice: NO! YOU SHALL NOT LEAVE!  
  
Madgirl: *turning* What was that?  
  
Voice: Me, you fool! ME! And I am working on my plan to turn you all into listless idiots! Now stay here until I'm finished with you!  
  
Hermione, Ron, Harry, and Draco: Okay. *turn around*  
  
Madgirl: NO! WHERE ARE YOU, EVIL VOICE! SHOW YOURSELF YOU COWARD!  
  
Voice: FINE!  
  
*The Hermione figurine on Madgirl's dresser begins levitating........ higher and higher........ towards Madgirl*  
  
Madgirl: Hermione the Bookworm! It's.... you?  
  
Hermione the Bookworm figurine: Yes. *Hits Madgirl on the head with itself*  
  
Madgirl: Ow!  
  
HTBF (Hermione the Bookworm figurine): Muahahahaha!!!!!!!! *evil laugh*  
  
Madgirl: How could you do this to me, Hermione the Bookworm figurine?  
  
HTBF: You dropped me! A lot! It hurt! So now---- I WILL TAKE OVER THE WORLD BY MAKING EVERYONE BORING, USELESS, DROOLING CREATURES WHO OBEY ME AND ONLY ME! And you're next, Madgirl Insane!  
  
Madgirl: NEVER!!!!!!!!  
  
*HTBF tries to hypnotize Madgirl, but Madgirl grabs her and.... throws her out the open window, where she falls on all the rocks in the driveway and splatters into a gatrillion peices!*  
  
Hermione, Ron, Harry, and Draco, now normal: Yayish! *cheer*  
  
Madgirl: *bows* Thank you, thank you.... it was nothing, really.  
  
Draco: You know, you're right for once. All you did was throw her out the window.  
  
Madgirl: Shut up Draco.  
  
************************two hours later*************************  
  
Madgirl: *sing-songy voice* Draco......  
  
Draco: What?  
  
Madgirl: It's time for you to kiss me!  
  
Draco: Oh, do I have to?  
  
Madgirl: Yup.  
  
*Madgirl drags Draco over to where Katie, Dom, and Danielle are standing.*  
  
Madgirl: Heya, guys.  
  
Katie: Hi.  
  
Danielle: Hola.  
  
Dom: *checking Draco out* Hello.  
  
Madgirl: This is Draco.  
  
Katie: What?  
  
Draco: Draco Francis Malfoy. Do you have a problem with that?  
  
Katie: *not believing this* Uh... no.  
  
Draco: C'mon Mad. I need some vodka.  
  
*Draco kisses Madgirl.*  
  
Draco: Hey, are you wearing cherry vanilla lip gloss?  
  
Madgirl: Yeah.  
  
Draco: Um... can I have some?  
  
Madgirl: Yeah. *gives Draco her pot of Cherry-Vanilla Lip Explosion*  
  
Draco: *Eats it*  
  
Madgirl: Okaaaaay......................  
  
Draco: *Eats it some more*  
  
Madgirl: Um..... I gotta go.  
  
*Madgirl walks away, looking freaked out, probably because she is*  
  
  
******15 minutes and 3 pots of Cherry-Vanilla Explosion later********  
  
  
Hermione: Alright, we gotta go.  
  
Harry: Yeah, we have to go talk to a fic author named..... theHAPPYbumblebee.   
  
Ron: *sighs* She's horrible.  
  
Madgirl: *laffs* I would assume so.  
  
Draco: *leans in to whisper to Madgirl* Hey.  
  
Madgirl: Yeah?  
  
Draco: Um.... got any more of that lip gloss?  
  
Madgirl: Nope. Sorry.  
  
Draco: *nods solemnly* That's okay.  
  
Hermione: Bye Madgirl!  
  
Harry: Bye!  
  
Ron: Bye!  
  
Draco: Later.  
  
Madgirl: See ya!  
  
Harry, Hermione, Ron, and Draco: *poof* *are gone*  
  
Madgirl: THAT was weird. Oh well.  
  
*Madgirl goes to the guest room to repost her fics*  
  
*Heh heh heh*  
  
  
  
  
  
A/N I own my lip gloss, my house (kind of) and my computer (kind of). Also my own Josie and the Pussycats CD. That's it. Oh, and I own my Draco pot, my Draco plate, my Hogwarts pillow, my Potions poster, my calendar, my evil Hermione the Bookworm figurine, and my Badtz-Maru with the twangy head even though it wasn't in this fic. It's still mine! You can't have it! So there!  
  
Also, the names of my friends aren't really their names. Let's just pretend I live in Hickstown, Tennesee. Which of course I don't. If I did, why would I tell you? I don't even live in Tenessee. I I did, don't you think I would know how to spell it? Which I don't. 


End file.
